Bianca Goean -- Drawing lessons to chase away loneliness -- traduceri

he should be back by now I say to myself

I start putting together colorful pieces of glass, a winding mosaic
reminding me of gaudi
he never saw it but you know lately
he used to lift his glasses up on his nose
with the hand holding a pencil
and he would tell me there’s still time for a walk
let’s have something to eat first
I would go to the kitchen when I’d be back he would still be there
with the pencil in his hand, drawing faces
the walls full of them we seemed surrounded by the whole family
see only now I realize he was never alone
it was late he would finally look at me again
it’s night yet again willa I didn’t eat
but I forgot to tell you today I entered a church
from now on I’ll make the sign of cross before eating
I was already far taking the last train
I’m home well I would tell him don’t forget you have all that you need in the fridge
aww, I didn’t have time to eat today
willa but how is the girl I’ve taken her pictures to the neighbor next door
rodica came as well she was saying she had seen you on the window when you were leaving
she was saying
you look more like me every day
come on I’m tired take care of you
I’ll send you more pictures
yes, but, willa, how is the girl
I had strawberries for her, you didn’t take them
that’s ok, that’s ok, you go to sleep now too, it’s so late
she’s so smart I was telling them how she showed me all letters in the newspaper
he would go on as I was walking around with the phone glued between my ear and my shoulder
preparing for a shower for sleep for my job for my life
then I would dream that I was little again
wearing a pink overall
laughing incessantly you don’t laugh anymore willa you’re always so serious
he was taking pictures of me I was gathering film slides
in a paper box
blue walls were growing around us all his drawings were all over the place
his pictures
his poems
his letters
his books
bent shelves
and then one of those mornings would come when you realize that life knots itself like a snake skin
in guell park
then you enter one last time the blue walled apartment
and say, facing the dusk

it’s been long enough dad
aren’t you coming back?

See the original Romanian text here.